基本原则

每个人对自己的选择负责,且拥有选择的自由。

主要思维

对自己的行为和一生所做的选择负责。

扩展自己的自由度与影响力。

主要流程

运用人类特有的四种天赋;扩大影响圈;成为转型人;使用主动的语言。


态度决定一切

其他习惯取决于积极主动这个习惯的确立

李开复:不去选择,也是选择,你选择了不选择。

宿命论:

基因决定论:  我们被遗传的特征 

心理决定论:  我们成长过程

环境决定论:  我们周遭状况

四种潜能:

自觉:检察思想、情绪及行动

良知:明辨对于错,及遵循正直

想象力:能超越经验及现实的视野思考

独立意志:不受外力影响的行动


如果你是积极主动,你能选择如何对待这些事情的方式。你可以选择摇晃或疯狂,但是你也可以保持平静。

我能够掌控的:

1.我的态度 2.我的情绪 3.我对好的或坏的事情的反应 4.我怎样对待别人

我不能掌控的:

1.其他人 2.天气 3.我过去做过的事情 4.其他人怎样对待自己



我们这些生活在集中营的人,总记得那经常走动于茅屋中安慰别人的人。他们也许只是少数,但是他们提供了足够的证明:你可以取走一个人的所有,但你无法取走“人类最终的自由”,即在任何环境中,人有能力自由选择自己的态度及回应方式。                             

                                       Viktor Frankl(1905 - 1997)

影响圈与关注圈

1.被动消极的焦点

肆意的批评(怨天尤人 愤世嫉俗);总想着自己解决不了的问题;总想改变别人。

2.主动积极的焦点

见贤思齐(关注正面);改进自己的不足;通过改变自己来带动别人改变。


努力扩大影响圈:

“影响圈”就像肌肉,因运动而增大或更有弹性,如果不常运用会渐成废物。如果我们全神贯注于所能影响的事情(如:人际间的情感帐户,产出/产能平衡),我们便可以扩大知识与经验,使自己成为值得被信任的人,进而扩大我们的影响范围。

但如果把焦点放在无法控制的事情上,我们将没有时间与能量处理我们可以控制的事情,结果,我们的影响圈会缩小。


意外VS如意

认识和确定自己的影响圈范围,转化心智模式,关注正向的方面,开放及坦诚的沟通,言行要一致。

你可以选择你的行动,但你不能选择后果,因为后果是为自然法则或原则所主宰。

                                                                     —— Stephen R.Covey

神经语言成功学

NLP是神经语言程序学 (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) 的英文缩写

1.被动消极的语言

“我不得不去”“他令我非常生气”“我无能为力”“要是……就好了”

2.主动积极的语言

“我决定去”“我可以控制自己的感受”“让我们试试其他可能性”“我能”

奥巴马Yes We Can演讲 

“总有人不断敷衍我们:我们不能这样做,我们不能实现我们的梦想,我们的梦想不过是天方夜谈。他们讲到无法克服华盛顿的大笔开支……白人、黑人和拉丁裔人无法和谐相处……政治上的种族分歧无法避免……不要说变革无法产生。是的,我们可以做到!” 

------------------------------------------奥巴马当选演讲Yes We Can------------------------------------------

    芝加哥的公民们,大家好!

    如果现在仍然有人怀疑在美国是不是真的任何事情都可能发生,怀疑我们开国之父们的梦想是否还留存在这片土地上,怀疑美国民主的力量,今夜,就是你的答案。

    在这个国家的学校和教堂中人们曾焦急地等待着答案,一些人甚至从未像今天一样——等待了3~4个小时,但是他们知道这一时刻非同一般,他们的声音也同样非同一般。

    在美国的土地上,无论是年轻人还是老人;穷人还是富人;无论是共和党人还是民主党人;无论是黑人、白人、西班牙裔、亚裔、美国原住民、同性恋、异性恋、残疾人还是非残疾人都发出同一种信息,我并非孤身一人。

    我们是,而且永远都是美利坚合众国!

    这一天我们等得太久了,但是今晚,因为我们在这场竞选中、在这个地点、在此时此刻所做的一切,改变已经降临美国。

    在今天晚上,我很荣幸地接到了麦凯恩参议员打来的电话。麦凯恩参议员在这场竞选中进行了长久、艰难的努力。而且,为这个他热爱的国家,他奋斗了更久、付出了更多的努力。他为美国做出了超乎我们大多数人想象的牺牲,因为这个无畏无私的领导人所付出的努力,我们才有了更好的生活。我对他表示祝贺,也对佩林州长所取得的成果表示祝贺。同时,我也期待着能在接下来的几个月内,和他们共同努力履行对这个国家的诺言。

    我想感谢我在这个旅程中的搭档,一个全心全意参加竞选的男人,一个为同他一起在斯克蓝顿(宾夕法尼亚东北部城市)街道长大、一起坐火车到特拉华州的人们发言的男人,美国未来的副总统,乔·拜登。

    在过去的16年里如果没有朋友们的支持和鼓励,那么我今晚将不会站在这里……我的家庭的支持、关爱,美国的下一位第一夫人米歇尔·奥巴马,还有萨沙和玛丽雅,我对你们的爱甚至超出你们的想象,你们将得到新的爸爸,和你们一起到新的白宫。

    我却再也不能陪伴我的外祖母了,但我知道她一直在守望着我们。我也十分想念我的家人和亲戚,我知道自己亏欠他们太多,太多。我要感谢马娅,阿尔玛,以及我所有的兄弟姐妹,感谢你们对我无私的支持,对此我深表感激。还有,感谢我的竞选经理大卫·普劳夫。还有那些在竞选活动中的无名英雄们,他们表现的很棒,是他们给美国带来了一场最完美的大选,我想,这在美国历史上是绝无仅有的。还有我的首席战略师大卫·阿克塞尔罗德。他是我的伙伴,在我竞选的每个阶段都给我极大的帮助,为我打造了美国大选史上最棒的竞选团队。是你让这一切发生了,我将永远对你为这一切做出的牺牲心存感激。但是最重要的,我将永远无法忘记这场胜利真正的主人,这属于你们,这属于你们。

    我曾经是最不可能赢得白宫的候选人。在刚开始的时候,我们没有多少钱,也没有多少支持者,我们的竞选不是从华盛顿的大厅开始的,而是开始于艾奥瓦州得梅因的后院、康科德的客厅、查尔斯顿的前厅。是辛勤劳作的男人、女人捐给了我们他们微薄的积蓄,5块钱、10块钱、20块钱。我们从年轻人那里得到了力量,他们拒绝服从同龄人冷漠的神话。为了工作,他们离开了自己的家乡,并与亲人分别,可是他们拿很少的报酬,甚至连睡觉的时间也少的可怜。

    那些并不年轻的志愿者却拥有一颗火热的心,为了大选他们在寒风中敲开善良的陌生人家的门,这就是为什么两个世纪以来,我们人类,我们的政府没有从地球上消亡的原因。

    我想说,这同样也是你们的胜利!我知道,你们不仅仅是为了赢得一个大选,也不仅仅是为了我。

    你们这样做,是因为知道我们面前任务的艰难。即使我们今晚在这里欢庆,我们仍然知道明天将会带来我们平生最大的挑战——两场战争,一个处于危险边缘的星球、一个世纪来最严重的金融危机。

    在孩子们熟睡后依然醒着的父亲母亲在担心,他们怎样才能还清医生的账单,攒够足够的钱供孩子的大学教育。

    新的能源要去开发,新的工作岗位要去创造,新的学校要去建造,新的威胁要去面对,新的盟友关系要去修复。

    前面的路会很长。我们的攀岩会很陡峭。我们甚至不会在一年、一个任期内达到这个目标。但是,美国,我从未比今夜更加相信,我们会达到这个目标。

    我承诺,作为一个人,我们会达到这个目标。

    以后我们还会面对挫折和谎言,我成为总统以后,也许有人无法认同我的每一项政策和方针。并且我们也知道政府并非能解决一切问题。但是我会忠诚地和你们并肩奋斗,共同面对挑战。我依然会倾听你们的声音,尤其是我们之间存在分歧的时候。最重要的是,我会真诚地邀请你参与国家的重建,就像美国建国221年以来的历史那样——靠我们的双手把国家建设地更为强大。

    我们从21个月以前的冬天开始了奋斗的征程,但是我们的努力不会在这个秋天的夜晚结束。这次胜利并不会改变我们的探索之路,这对于我们来说是一个难得的机遇,我们决不能后退。我们不会退缩,因为我们拥有旺盛的精力和无畏牺牲的精神。

    让我们重振爱国主义精神,承担起自己的责任,我们将努力奋斗,互帮互助。

    让我们牢记金融危机给美国带来的伤痛,我们再也不会让华尔街繁荣的同时,让别的街受罪。

    在这个国家里,我们与祖国的命运紧密相连。让我们自觉抵制党派争端和过于污秽的政治斗争。

    让我们牢记在这条街道上高举共和党旗帜入主白宫的那个人(林肯),是他宣扬了独立和自主的精神,完成了国家的统一。

    这些价值观应该得到继承和发扬,今晚民主党取得了胜利,我们必须保持谦虚的心态,并下定决心完成后面的征程。就像很久以前,林肯对一个比现在分裂得更严重的民族所说的那样,我们不是敌人,是朋友。虽然热情已经被冲淡,我们的友爱纽带没有破裂。

    同时,对于我没有赢得支持的民众,我或许没有得到你们的投票,但是我听到了你们的声音。我需要你们的帮助。我也会是你们的总统。

    对于那些在另外一个海岸,从国会到王宫、到在被世界遗忘的角落摆弄收音机、关注美国今夜的人们,我们的故事并非只有一个,但是目标是共同的,美国领导力的新的黎明已经到来。

    美国应该变化,我们的社会应该更完美。我们已经取得的成果给了我们明天取得更大成果的希望。

    这次大选有很多首创和许多故事,这些故事将代代相传。但今天晚上我脑子里能想起来的就是一个女人,她刚刚在亚特兰大城投了票。她跟成千上万在这次大选中排队发出自己声音的人一样,唯有一点例外:安·尼克松·库珀已经106岁高龄了。她出生在奴隶制刚刚废除后的那一代,那时路上没有汽车,天上没有飞机。像她那样的人仍不能投票,这因为两个方面的原因:一是她是女性;二是因为她的肤色。

    可今晚,我想她看透了一个世纪的美国——头疼与希望;挣扎与发展。有人告诉我们,美国不行了,可美国人的自信却回答:不,我们行!她曾经生活在女性发不出声音、希望破灭的时代,可她却活着看到女性们站起来,发出自己的声音,并且投下自己的票。是的,我们行!

    当饥饿来到,衰退发生时,她看到了这个国家是如何以新政,新工作,和全新的共同目标来战胜恐惧的。当炸弹落到我们的港口,独裁者威胁世界的时候,她亲眼见证了一代人的崛起和民主得以挽救。是的,我们行!她去蒙哥马利搭乘公共汽车,她去伯明翰面对水龙头,她去塞尔玛占桥……她听来自亚特兰大的牧师告诉大家:“我们能打破种族障碍”,没错,我们行!

    今年,在这次大选中,她投下了自己的一票。因为在美国生活了106个年头,经历了最好的时光与最难的岁月,所以她知道美国一定能改变。是的,我们行!

    美国已经经历了太多,我们看够了太多,但我们还得做更多的事。今晚,让我们问自己:如果我们的孩子们要活着看到新世纪,如果我们的女儿们能像安·尼克松这样活到106岁,我们应该有哪些进步?我们应该回答这个问题,这是我们的时代。

    现在是我们一起开始工作,为我们的孩子打开机遇之门,恢复我们的繁荣,促进和平,重回美国梦,恢复基本信任,以及其它许多事的时候了。我们应该团结如一人。我们应该坚定地回应那些说我们不行的人,我们将以无穷的力量来回应他们,然后说:是的,我们行!

    感谢大家,上帝保佑你们,上帝保佑美利坚!


英文原文:

    If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

    It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen, by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different, that their voices could be that difference.

    It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled. Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of red states and blue states.

    We are, and always will be, the United States of America.

    It's the answer that led those who've been told for so long by so many to be cynical and fearful and doubtful about what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.

    It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this date in this election at this defining moment change has come to America.

    A little bit earlier this evening, I received an extraordinarily gracious call from Sen. McCain.

    Sen. McCain fought long and hard in this campaign. And he's fought even longer and harder for the country that he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine. We are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader.

    I congratulate him; I congratulate Gov. Palin for all that they've achieved. And I look forward to working with them to renew this nation's promise in the months ahead.

    I want to thank my partner in this journey, a man who campaigned from his heart, and spoke for the men and women he grew up with on the streets of Scranton and rode with on the train home to Delaware, the vice president-elect of the United States, Joe Biden.

    And I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last 16 years the rock of our family, the love of my life, the nation's next first lady Michelle Obama.

    Sasha and Malia I love you both more than you can imagine. And you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the new White House.

    And while she's no longer with us, I know my grandmother's watching, along with the family that made me who I am. I miss them tonight. I know that my debt to them is beyond measure.

    To my sister Maya, my sister Alma, all my other brothers and sisters, thank you so much for all the support that you've given me. I am grateful to them.

    And to my campaign manager, David Plouffe, the unsung hero of this campaign, who built the best -- the best political campaign, I think, in the history of the United States of America.

    To my chief strategist David Axelrod who's been a partner with me every step of the way.

    To the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics you made this happen, and I am forever grateful for what you've sacrificed to get it done.

    But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to. It belongs to you. It belongs to you.

    I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn't start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington. It began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston. It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give $5 and $10 and $20 to the cause.

    It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's apathy who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep.

    It drew strength from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on doors of perfect strangers, and from the millions of Americans who volunteered and organized and proved that more than two centuries later a government of the people, by the people, and for the people has not perished from the Earth.

    This is your victory.

    And I know you didn't do this just to win an election. And I know you didn't do it for me.

    You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime -- two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century.

    Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us.

    There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after the children fall asleep and wonder how they'll make the mortgage or pay their doctors' bills or save enough for their child's college education.

    There's new energy to harness, new jobs to be created, new schools to build, and threats to meet, alliances to repair.

    The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there.

    I promise you, we as a people will get there.

    There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as president. And we know the government can't solve every problem.

    But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And, above all, I will ask you to join in the work of remaking this nation, the only way it's been done in America for 221 years -- block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

    What began 21 months ago in the depths of winter cannot end on this autumn night.

    This victory alone is not the change we seek. It is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were.

    It can't happen without you, without a new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice.

    So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other.

    Let us remember that, if this financial crisis taught us anything, it's that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers.

    In this country, we rise or fall as one nation, as one people. Let's resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long.

    Let's remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House, a party founded on the values of self-reliance and individual liberty and national unity.

    Those are values that we all share. And while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress.

    As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, we are not enemies but friends. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.

    And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too.

    And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces, to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of the world, our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand.

    To those -- to those who would tear the world down: We will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security: We support you. And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright: Tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope.

    That's the true genius of America: that America can change. Our union can be perfected. What we've already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

    This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight's about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing: Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

    She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons -- because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.

    And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America -- the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.

    At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

    When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs, a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

    When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

    She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that "We Shall Overcome." Yes we can.

    A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination.

    And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change.

    Yes we can.

    America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves -- if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

    This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment.

    This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.

    Thank you. God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America.


What you can

你不能决定生命的长度, 但你可以控制它的宽度。

你不能决定天气,但你可以改变心情。

你不能改变容貌,但你可以展现笑容。

你不能控制他人,但你可以掌握自己。

你不能预知明天,但你可以利用今天。

你不能样样顺利,但你可以事事尽力。


培养个人领导的习惯

基本原则

心智创造先于实际创造

主要思维

我决定自己的未来并制定远期目标

活动前先行心智创造

主要流程

创造并实现个人及组织使命宣言,将之当作是日常生活的宪章

规划预期结果与个人价值观,以指导我们的活动


假设你正在前往殡仪馆的路上,要去参加一位至亲的丧礼,抵达之后,居然发现亲朋好友齐集一堂,是为了向你告别。

也许这是三五十年,甚至许久之后的事,但姑且假定这时亲族代表、友人、同事或社团伙伴,即将上台追述你的生平。

(请认真想一想,你希望听到什么样的评语?

你这一生有任何成就、贡献或值得怀念的事吗?

你是个称职的丈夫、妻子、父母、子女或亲友吗?

你是个令人怀念的同事或伙伴吗?

失去了你,对关心你的人会有什么影响?)


希腊帕尔纳索斯山,戴尔波伊神托所入口处的巨石上赫然镌刻:认识你自己!这就是古希腊哲学家们普遍认为的人类最高智慧。

人最熟悉的莫过于自己,最陌生的也莫过于自己;最亲近的是自己,最疏远的也是自己。

老子说:“知人者智,自知者明。

”禅宗有言:“明心见性。”


首先想像你想要的是什么!决定你的目标!人生为一件大事儿来! –路博士

你是自己的人生程序设计员,如果你不知道将要驶向哪里,刮什么风都是逆风。


心智创造

第一次创造:

每一次创造是由心智创造,即一个想法,计划观念或动机开始的

习惯二最重要的结果之一是:

以终为始是一种心智创造,即个人或组织规划如何发展,想取得什么成就。

一心向着自己目标前进的人,整个世界都为他让路!                   ——爱默生


不要混淆重要的事情和紧急的事情

NOW+NOW+NOW  < IMPORTANT

“不能管理时间,便什么都不能管理。”                             ——杜拉克